On Second Thought

1. I will literally dance at the drop of a hat. Tonight I broke it down to the jingle of a pepperoni commercial on TV, and my husband acted like he didn’t know me. Our house isn’t very big, so that was awkward.

2. Chocolate chip cookie dough is a food group.

3. All I’m washing on laundry day are pajamas, towels and sheets. Make of it what you will.

4. Erma the Wonder Dog successfully digested a piece of mail we have yet to identify. I secretly hope it is somebody’s homework, just because I’ve always wanted to truthfully say that.

5. It’s official, every neighbor has seen me in my pajamas, complete with my fox house shoes and bed head. And I have seen them in theirs.

6. It’s really okay to make eye contact at the store. That I have heard, looking at somebody else does not spread the virus.

7. The people I’ve talked to this week who genuinely want us to keep our newspaper open has been heartwarming and life-affirming. I hope I’ve been able to adequately express our gratitude. In fact, an anonymous person sent $300 to our office to help us through this time and the only way I can thank them, if they read this, is through this column. What your words did for our hearts and determination to do even better was as meaningful as the gift itself. 8. What day is this?

8. What day is this?

9. What’s with the red eyeshadow I’m seeing on women in TV shows and commercials?

10. We have the opportunity to come out of this better people.

11. If I get salmonella poisoning, the culprit will be raw cookie dough.

12. Three words: Science is real.

13. Few scientists are on Facebook.

14. I have no choice but to believe that Lysol will be the next negotiable form of currency.

15. My hair took this shelter at home order as an excuse to live its best life, and it’s not even offering apologies.

16. After this is over, the first thing I’m going to do is drive to the metroplex, cram an Auntie Anne’s pretzel into my mouth and chase it with a shot glass of cheese sauce.

17. Naps are still not overrated.

18. A bottle of wine is one serving.

19. Not for nothing, but I think kissing booths are officially a thing of the past.

20. To the man who practically body-checked me trying to get around me at the pharmacy this week, that horrified look on my face is not natural.

As always, wash your hands and keep a safe social distance. Laugh as much as you can and use this time to become a better version of yourself.