On Second Thought

Imagine this, you have a bug with a really cute name - let’s call it a kissing bug - and then a story comes out that they can give you a disease that makes your nose and lips fall off.

Nothing could be more onbrand for 2020 – death by something you’ve never thought of before.

For those of you who haven’t dobbered in your November square on the 2020 Unfortunate Bingo card, feel free to use this.

A few months ago, we had an initial scare that murder hornets had arrived in the US from China, I think, and they were just awful. News of them suddenly disappeared, but made a resurgence in the past week when a hive of them was extricated in Washington State. Needless to say, I am still on high alert for those flying minions of death.

Then I found a brown recluse in my garage last month that was the size of a turkey platter. It was the size of a silver dollar last month and has grown with my fear, just in time for Thanksgiving planning.

During each of these events I contacted my go-to entomologist Brant A. Baugh, bug expert at large, for comfort and reassurance.

So when I read a report last week that kissing bugs in Wichita Falls, Texas were testing positive for some disease called Trypanosoma Cruzi, which in turn causes Chagas’ disease, as well a whole lots of questions in my mind, I texted Brant.

What ensued was a whole lot of education and a warning to not make out with a kissing bug, via text message. I felt I should share this information with the class.

What follows are actual text messages exchanged between myself and Mr. Baugh, lightly edited for language and relevance.

Me: The City of Wichita Falls released a press statement advising that a Triatomine insect or the “Kissing Bug” has been collected and tested positive for Trypanosoma Cruzi which causes Chagas disease. What [redacted] is Chagas?

Brant: Makes your ears and nose fall off .... in the very worst cases. This is common by the way.

Me: I’ve never met one person whose ears and nose fell off, and I know a lot of people.

Brant: Well, common in South Texas. It’s known as the Kissing Bug. Will feed on your face, lips, nose while you sleep. Isn’t that cute?

Me: Why are the diseased ones in Wichita Falls?

Brant: They are mostly tropical, and die when it’s freezing. Unless they are warm under your bed.

Kari: So, kill them all with fire, right? [Redacted] I feel much better.

What followed was a mishmash of great but unprintable stories about Brant’s time at the county extension office, plus some more information and advice on the newest threat this year.

His advice is this, so tuck this in your bra: “Just don’t sleep in a barn in South Texas. Don’t pass out in dusty, spidery places that are frequented by people or animals. But hey, you only live once. Most cases are just disfiguring swelling of the face.”

I feel better, Brant, in a very 2020 way.